What’s
your salary?
Why
do you eat non-vegetarian food?
Why
do you wear jeans?
What,
yours was a love marriage?
What
are you educating your daughter for?
Why
are you still taking care of your parents after marriage?
Why
you are not married yet?
Why
don’t you have any children yet?
Are
you a virgin?
Questions, questions and so many
more. Don’t you sometimes wonder about the kind of questions you are asked by
this society of ours? Frankly, I do and often too. But then I more or less
always decide to not bother. Easier said than done, I know, but I still make
the effort and I’m sure you do too.
Privacy is a term that we chose not
to appreciate in this great country of ours. Barring a few, we as a nation
generally believe in the ‘your business
is my business as long as I don’t need to pay’ philosophy. Boundaries do
not matter when we poke our big, fat and ugly noses into someone else’s
business. But, wait for it, we make use of the very same boundary to rack unsuspecting
soles.
Among millions of other subjects, sex
is explicitly a topic that is considered a big taboo in our society. We ‘do’ it, of course, but talk of it we don’t!
Hell, we even have women being raped right, left and center given any window of
opportunity but talk of sex we do not! At all times we play the culture card while
some men who just can’t keep it in their pants drive around cities and towns
associating sex with dreadful rapes for all. Just the mere pronunciation of
the word is considered a disgrace while it’s ordinary (pun intended) for a
woman to be sexually assaulted in her own backyard. And then obviously with
this stigma comes the natural progression to terming pre-marital sex as profane.
Yes, that’s the kind of spirals and tangents our thought processes take.
So just so we are all on the same
page let me recap.
· We don’t
talk about sex for that’s sleazy according to some dead beat ancestor who is
now long gone.
·
We
chastise people supporting pre-marital sex.
·
We do
nothing to stop those committing rape.
·
We fight
against consensual sex but do nothing substantial about a man who forces
himself on a woman.
·
We shame
and blame all those who even dare to speak candidly on sex, even those who endorse
sexual freedom.
In my view, sex, pre-marital or
not, should be an individual’s prerogative. I’m not averse to the idea at all.
And why should I or even you be?
- Nothing
wrong in consensual sex, pre-marital too.
- Why the categorization
even?
- It’s the
decision of an individual.
- No one has
the right to pass judgments on someone else’s sex life.
I think like any other choice in
life whether to have sex before or after marriage, or perhaps to not have it at
all, is up to an individual. I don’t see anything wrong in any of the
scenarios. But this censoring of anything related to sex or targeting an
individual based on his or her preference of pre-marital sex is ridiculous.
I
think it’s high time you and I stop being so naïve. It’s high time you and I
stop hiding behind false moralities. Look at what happens all around India inspite
of being so uptight in our beliefs about sex. Unsuspecting women are raped. So
it’s not pre-marital sex you and I should oppose. If there is anything you and
I need to stand up to, it’s the vile crime of rape.
Before I wrap up, tell me what do
you feel? Don’t you, like me, believe that there’s nothing wrong in pre-marital
sex too? Don’t you agree that it’s absurd to make it an issue? Don’t you agree
that enough is enough, sex is sex and not the Ebola virus to be quarantined for?
Don’t you agree that it’s not those who support pre-marital sex who ‘supposedly’
ruin our culture? Don’t you agree it’s as normal, as natural, as anything else
that you do? Don’t you agree it’s a needless furor?
***