In a bid to take Bogus-Sys Technologies Ltd. to a new high, the Chairman Mr. 1980s has unveiled a new technology to extract more work from its employees.He seems to be on a roll for this is his fifth innovation to ‘control’ employees after assuming office.
‘Thought Controller’, which is a spy software developed in-house, will be given to each and every employee going forward. This is in line with Bogus-Sys’s age old extremely popular policy of employee torture. So apart from the employee ID, each employee would have to wear the thought controller to log the kind of thoughts they would be having. It is being referred to as another step in the continuous innovation strategy for the most loved Employee Torture IT Company in the country. Also while the world looks on in awe, the Indian IT Industry seems to be making a beeline for purchasing the software from Bogus-Sys.
In the press conference held to showcase this new initiative, Mr. 1980s said “Our customers want more value from us. Since the work that earns the top management money is done by the unimportant employees at the beginners and middle level, it was imperative to ensure that they only think about work. So we invented this hi-tech head gear that would be fit into the employees’ heads when at office. It would monitor their brain waves and thoughts. In case they think of anything apart from work they will be stimulated with an electrical shock. This will ensure more productivity, discipline, loyalty to the company and of course more money for us.”
An employee who was part of the pilot run said “Initially I would get 100 shocks per day as I would be thinking about being hungry, or having tea. And sometimes my household problems too or just about going to the washroom. But with time I have stopped thinking about most of the things. Hence, the frequency of shocks too have reduced. I think I’ll get a hang of it in another few days.”
With more and more companies inventing ways to make sure employees suffer, Bogus-Sys seems to be leading the pack with innovative ideas in this front. In the past, they have been known to increase working hours, monitor what websites employees visit and block them subsequently. In fact, if sources are to be believed even Google, banking and news websites would be blocked in the near future to ensure employees do nothing else in office apart from work. Questions have been raised as to if these steps ensure a good working atmosphere to which Mr. 1980s replied “We are known in the industry to not provide a good atmosphere to employees. Why change now? We are known to make employee lives miserable and we intend to stick to that line of thinking.”
“We are very happy. These wonderful innovations would make Mr. 1980 and his comrades rich. That’s the professional goal we have set for ourselves and it will be great to have a device help us do that” said Mr. Doormat, an employee of Bogus-Sys. While on the other hand a faction of employees anonymously said “Bogus-Sys is the worst company to work for. We are planning to hurl shoes at Mr. 1980s the next time we see him.”
Nevertheless, with most employees happily trying on the head gear, it seems the lack of proper labor laws in the IT Sector in India has been a boon to the working class and Bogus-Sys of-course.
*** Some thoughts***
With Job satisfaction hitting a new low as per a report in the papers this week and the growing realization that there are no laws that could protect the interest of the working class, I can’t help but feel upset. Companies consider their employees as cattle and sheep, imposing rules after rules which are not at all conducive to a healthy work environment. How can we work well when we feel suffocated by the working hours, ifs and buts, ludicrous restrictions, etc.? Work places nowadays have become cages and employees paid slaves. Some of the companies seem to be relapsing to the past instead of moving ahead with times. I think it’s high time that laws are made to ensure that care is taken of employee rights on priority. But who cares what I think? Hence, a satire to take out my frustration. Let me know what you think!
My fellow Bloggers Richa Singh, Shilpa Garg, Sheethal and Suzy are taking part in UBC. Drop in and cheer them too if you please :).Trust me nothing motivates us bloggers more than a comment from our readers!