Breaking News: Indians to need Visa to go from one state to
another within India!
In a path breaking decision the
Parliament of India has passed the State Visa Bill tabled by the Minister
of Regional Chauvinism, Mr. My State. The ruling came after careful
thought in which the opinion of the xenophobic common man was also taken
into account.
Talks of the implementation of a
State Visa had been doing the rounds for about a decade now. But it was the humble
agitation by the educated younger generation, with blessings from India’s
culturally rich older generations, which brought this historic bill to life. Ofcourse,
there were those insane factions which opposed the bill terming it ridiculous. But
their voices were rightfully quashed after cases under IPC section 122 were slapped
against those blocs.
With the increasing crime rates
across the country, experts with master degrees in the highly respected discipline
of ‘Regional Chauvinism’ had argued that movement of people across State
borders within the country had to be stopped. Creation of jobs and development
due to the same was termed redundant. The fact that ‘migrants’ also pay taxes
and contribute to the state’s economic growth was scoffed at. Careful line of
reasoning proved that attacks on women, thefts, murders were all the result of relocation.
And crimes committed by the natives in their own soil were nothing but innocent
retaliation to havoc wrecked by the ‘migrant’ population. It was proved beyond
reasonable doubt that prior to creation of jobs and movement of people from one
state to another, India was a country free of crimes. Hence, the passage of
bill comes as the turning point in our history towards a Crime Free India.
So going forward if you wish to
work in a city which is not in your state, you would need to apply for Visa or
Work Permit before booking your tickets. And if your child is to be born in a
city where the official language is not your mother tongue you would need to
apply for birth visa of your baby too. Also, the players of our national teams
would need to apply visa to the state the captain belongs to. For holidays or
medical visits to other states too you would need to apply the appropriate
visa. Additionally, interstate marriages would also require sanction of the
Regional Chauvinistic Marriage Board to be legalized.
The State Consulates have already
been bombarded by Visa requests, to process which they would need the help of ‘outsider’
employees. The Director of the State Consulates has therefore published an
advisory stating it would first issue Visas to its ‘migrant’ employees and then
move full throttle towards requests from the common man.
At long last, India is seen
marching towards a radiant regionally bigoted future with the passage of this
exemplary State Visa Bill. As the nation chants “Long Live prejudiced India”
and Arnab Goswami conducts another heated debate on this topic, the world looks
on!
