Monday, September 1, 2014

I’m Misjudged Because…


September is here. Can you believe it? Well, I surely can’t.

This year has been quite the roller-coaster ride. So far at least. The first two months were spent fighting the HRs and Managers of the organisation where I work so that I could join my husband in Germany. Eventually I did. No thanks to them. After that S and I spent three beautiful months travelling. We really enjoyed some quality time together savoring the European winter followed by spring. But the fairy-tale ended as I had to get back to work. I had to come back harping that tune whereas truth be told I don't really love what I do for a living. The confused soul that I’m! Strangely now I look back and think – What was the rush?

Well now I can’t really turn back time, can I? So I guess I’ll have to live with it. Then came June. With it came health issues and so far I see no respite from them. A few days better than the rest certainly but the battle still wages on. But I'm somehow trying to be positive and hoping that it ends soon. Meanwhile can I let you in on a secret? It’s damn hard being positive. It’s probably right up there very close to giving birth to a child or getting yourself operated without anesthesia. God it’s tough!

Anyways, as September begins I find myself wishing for a bright day when everyone in my family can breathe easy. Until then the best I can do is write. I guess you knew that already, didn't you?

In other news this month too I plan to continue with Write Tribe’s Pro Bloggers Challenge wherein we sincerely attempt to blog every day. Truth be told nothing pacifies me more than writing. I think it is because I can’t express myself well when it comes to doing it vocally. It always happens that I ultimately end up saying something completely different from what I actually intended. Maybe that’s why writing, good or bad, is therapeutic for me. Maybe that’s why I should write. And maybe that’s why I will.

So today I’m planning to do a fill in the blanks kind of post. You know like the post – I’m Blank Because….Only this time it will be about something else.

I’m thinking it should be something like ‘I’m misjudged because…’

Good?

Well, let’s give it a try and see. Shall we?

So here goes.

I’m misjudged because….

I often think from my heart. I know it’s not possible and a terrible combination at that but I really do that.

I’m driven by emotions when it comes to people I love and that makes me vulnerable, prone to mistakes.

I’m terrible at expressing myself during arguments. So there, instead of solving I make things even more complicated.

I have too high expectations from those around me.

I get really angry when disappointed and in that I sometimes end up hurting, people I care about, unintentionally of course.

I feel so guilty after my bouts of anger that I tend to overcompensate which trust me is not pleasant.

I have the inability to fake or pretend when it comes to my feelings about someone and that always lands me in trouble. Always.

So there by now you probably must be thinking I’m such a disaster. You know you aren't wrong in assuming that. I certainly am a walking, talking and writing disaster in many ways. But then that’s just me!

But there must also be something in you that people fail to understand. What is it that causes you being misunderstood? Now now don’t you go away without telling me that!


Sunday, August 31, 2014

Few Sunday Wishes..


Wish. I love this word. Don't you? For me it signifies hope in the guise of desires. Sometimes hidden in the deepest corners of our hearts. 

We all crave for millions of things. We all do. Even the one who's satisfied in life has unfulfilled wishes. Trust me it's true. From ephemeral to long lasting our wishes have all the shades of the rainbow and more. How they are fulfilled? If at all they are fulfilled? Well, that depends. But the fact is that wishes remain in our hearts and minds. Always.

And I'm no different, am I? So I too have many wishes. Of-course they keep getting added or removed from my list depending on situations and sometimes my mood.

Moving on.

As this long weekend slipped by without any of my plans being realized an idea suddenly popped into my mind. An 'I wish' post. How does that sound? Just a short list of what I want or what I yearn for. Something light for you to read as well. What do you say to that?

Do I hear a yes?

Alright.

So here goes!

I wish....


To resign from my current position because I deserve better.

To take a chance.

To enroll in a course on English Literature and Fiction Writing.

To go on a solo vacation.

To not enter the dreaded kitchen for at-least an entire week.

To go to the spa (It's been months!).


Perhaps letting these out into the universe would actually lead them to being painted with the brush of reality. For a few of them at-least? Possible?

Well that was all. For now that is.

But wait don't go yet! What's the rush? Let me know a few of your wishes too before you go. Yes, go on.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

My Two Cents’ Worth on a Friday Night…


The long weekend has begun but at home everything still revolves around weekly visits to the hospital. We just can't catch a break. In moments of weakness I feel a bad curse is on us. But then maybe it's just one of those times. Mom is getting better but the stitches have yet to be removed.

It's like a lucky draw you know. Every time the anticipation is that it would be removed but the doctor announces regretfully that the draw wasn't in our favor. But it's alright. Patience is a virtue I've been told. How much of it I possess is a different question altogether.

This time around my sister has taken up the role of handling mom's care and medicines. My job is just to manage the kitchen at night and on holidays, the rest she takes care of. And she's so good at it. My small munchkin seems to have grown up. I guess that's what being a family is all about. One steps in for the other. Touch-wood!

But don't be upset. It's not a sad post.

You know in all this we haven't forgotten to smile. That's a good thing right? We do get frustrated. Humans after all. But then we get back to giggling and pulling each other's legs. So in trying to lighten up the mood at home we spent the last two evenings playing cards. It's fun seeing mom and dad engaged in it. I know they miss home and their friends. I understand. But things will be back to normal soon. It's only a matter of time and healing.

By the way did I tell you I'm mom's lucky charm during card games? She always wins when I sit next to her. Oh such fun to see the mischievous smile on her face then. I also plan to get carom-board at home so that we could all spend some more time playing. And laughing most importantly.

Moving on.

You know life is like this very strict teacher who always comes up with a new lesson even if you aren't ready for it. It's true. It is like this relentless trainer who doesn't believe in giving you breathers. And also especially concentrates on those students who are least interested in a lesson. There are times you wish to run away just so you could catch a break. But where could you hide for life not to be able to get to you? Nowhere right?

So today I’ve decided to share with you some advice. Or, observations at best. These are realizations that came to me at times when nothing seemed right. And if you have been reading me recently then you would know how fresh these derivations could be. So just for you these are my two cents’ worth on life as I understand it, at least at this juncture. I'm sure it'll change but then that's a discussion for some other time.

Here I go!

No matter how ridiculous it seems life never gives you more that what you can handle. Your tolerance threshold can be judged by the problems you are dealt with. It's true. Trust me!

Cherish every peaceful moment in life because you never know when the lull breaks giving way to an avalanche of difficulties. You have got to put this in every sticky note possible, even the mental ones. Don't let even a moment of life pass by without you savoring the good in it.

Take short breaks whenever possible. Don't put off holidays or the things you want to do for the future. You know it might just take a long time to actually show up at the door.

It's okay to be frustrated and angry. It's even alright to question your beliefs from time to time. What I want to say is it's okay to break down and let go. But don't forget to rise up again like a phoenix. Makes sense, doesn't it?

You can't take care of everyone and everything all at the same time. So if possible delegate your responsibilities or even share with your partners. Could be your siblings, spouse or friend even. But do it. Let go. Don't overburden yourself. It's okay to want to do everything for everyone  but it's not humanly possible all the time. Accept that!

So there.These were some of the things that I've realized in very recent times. These helped me make more sense of everything happening around me. So who knows maybe it could help you too at some point?

Tell me though what is your take on life? Your mantras of getting through life perhaps. In simple terms of-course! Go on, tell me. I can't wait to learn more.

And yes don't forget to have a great weekend!

Take care!
***


Write Tribe
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